Seventeen Years of Muses
This year 1100 Muses will parade and we hope our excitements can be conveyed. They are humble ladies and don’t mean to gloat…but this year has the best bands and the very best floats.
Muses is known for great throws and this year won’t let you down. They’ve got a few items you will use all year ‘round. They’ll throw light up diamond and bracelets made of shoes. They’ll throw re-museable totes you can use however you choose. They have got a spa headband to pull your hair back right and a combination bottle opener/flashlight! There’s a red puffy pom-pom and cool fuzzy socks. There’s a necklace spelling out Muses on tiny blocks. And just when you thought throws could not get more deluxe….Muses has made their own rubber duck!
And now everyone here please let’s all give it up for the student who designed this year’s Muses cup! Sha' Bria Counsin is the artist and the design is quite cool. Her cup earned $1,000 for NOCCA – her school.
The parade starts out with Big Easy Roller Girls
They skate and they roll and sometimes they twirl
And before throws get thrown and the big bands begin
Grab yourself a Muses parade bulletin
- Band – St Augustine High School
- Marching Unit – Walking Shoes and Butterflies
These are special puppets, just so you know, we’ve got some dancing shoes and butterflies that glow.
Float 1 - The Muses 2017 - The Muses Officers
Look to the first float with all riders strapped in
It’s the Muses officers and our founder/Captain.
They've got lots of beads and trinkets to throw
Once they pass by, the parade is a go!
- Band – Landry – Walker High School Marching Band
Float 2 - Honorary Muse – Tamron Hall (Muses Shoe Float)
Each year the Muses scour the nation
For a woman whose life is a pure inspiration.
You'll find her riding in a big light-up shoe,
here to honor the season with me and with you!
All Hail honorary Muse Tamron Hall, award-winning journalist and an advocate for education, housing and women's safety, she embodies the spirit for which the Muses are known, and is an inspiration to all New Orleans girls and future Muses.
- Band – Landry – Walker High School Marching Band
- Horse Unit – Lady Godiva Riding Club
Float 3 - Mt. Olympus Brass Band (Coolbone)
- Band – Lake Area High School
Float 4 - The Bathing Muses + Rubber Duck and Duckies
Here comes a bubbling bathtub overflowing with fun,
and four new signature floats to thrill everyone.
The cutest floats ever to grace the avenue
are Mama Duck and Baby Ducks One, Three and Two!
- Band – Helen Cox
- Horse Unit – Lady Godiva Riding Club
Float 5 – Molly Marines Chapter LA-1, Women Marines Association
- Marching Unit – Molly Marines
- Band – Edna Karr High School Marching Band
- Marching Unit – Krewe de Suess
Float 6 - Title Float 2017 – Dr. Meuss on the Loose. Oh The Parade We Will Throw.
Get ready! Here they come! Soon you will see a Muse!
They’re off for a great ride armed with glittery shoes
They have bands all lined up, they have floats filled with throws
Crowds will exult from their heads to their toes
They’ll roll up and down streets, reign over all with love.
And if you really want a shoe, please don't push, grab or shove
The Muses will put on a fantastical show
It’s "Dr. Meuss on the Loose" and Oh! The Parade They Will Throw!
- Band – McDonogh 35 Senior High School Marching Band
Float 7 - Welcome to Shoeville
Welcome to Shoeville, in the state of boot
Where the former gov’nor blew all our loot
We have our highs, we have our lows
Oh, the woes of Shoeville’s woes!
Shoeville is known as the City of Sin
But it's in pretty good shape for the state that it's in.
- Band – Martin Luther King Charter School
Float 8 - Yat in Da Hat
He’s a favorite Dr. Meuss character, he's crazy and vocal
He's also the most undeniably local
He eats erstas, drinks Barq's, and says “Where Y’at”
Let's all give it up for the Yat in Da Hat!
- Band - George W. Carver High School Marching Band
Float 9 - Yertle the Turtle Soup
For Yertle the Turtle things got really hot
When a Top Chef tossed him in a pot
He used onions, pepper and celery and made a roux goop
Until he had a big helping of Yertle Soup.
- Band – West Jefferson High School
Float 10 - One Pill Two Pill Red Pill Blue Pill
One pill, two pill, red pill, blue pill,
Let’s hope insurance will pay for a refill
Some pills make you feel like a star
Some pills show how things really are.
Say, what a lot of pills there are!
- Band – L.W. Higgins High School
Float 11 - Jocks in Socks Hop on Pop
Jocks in socks get big bucks playing sports
while others Hop on Pop in courts
They're dribbling with Davis, they're feeling the Brees,
And if you ask nicely they'll pose for selfies.
- Band – Fannie C. Williams
Float 12 - The Sinklers
The Sinklers live way down under our city
And they are the reason our streets aren’t so pretty.
Potholes and sink holes and holes in the ground
The Sinklers make holes all over our town.
- Band – Kipp Leadership Academy
Float 13 - Horton Hears a Who Dat
Another year and no Lombardi came home
There’s just one Who Dat left in the dome
The team’s 7 and 9, the draft picks were misspent
but a Who Dat is faithful 100 percent!
- Band – Carmouche Performing Arts Academy
- Marching Unit - High Steppers and ISL Circus Arts Kids
- Marching Unit – Krewe of Wheel
Float 14 - If I Ran the Zoo
I went on down to the Audubon Zoo, and they were all for sale to you.
The monkey’s for sale, the tiger’s for sale and the elephant been sold too!
I went on up to the big old Fly and the sign said for sale
The land’s for sale, the grass is for sale and they only serve one brand of ale!
- Marching Unit – Camel Toe Lady Steppers & Brass Band
Float 15 - SCOTUS
The SCOTUS 8 rarely see eye to eye
We need Justice 9 to break the tie
We asked the new resident and here’s what he said
"SCOTUS Number 9 will most definitely wear RED."
- Band - Ninth Ward Marching Band
Float 16 - Oh, The Places You Can’t Go
When you need to pee, you need to pee
No matter where you are
But will they let you pee there
If you weren’t born with that star?
- Marching Unit – Pussyfooters
Float 17 - How the Grump Stole Twitter
His name is President Grump and he’s a talkative critter
at least he is when he’s tweeting on Twitter
He calls people LOSERS and mocks them with zest
Claims they're all overrated and he's simply the best.
This float features tweets we’ve seen from this Grump:
“Parade satire is so NOT FUNNY! These Muses should and will be punished in a HUGE way!”
“I am not a GRUMP! I won the popular vote and Electoral College! This parade must be backed by @CNN and the failing @NYTimes”
“If I were there I would grab me a Pussy…Footer!”
- Marching Unit – Dead Rock Stars
Float 18 - And to Think That I Saw it on Bourbon Street
I went down to Bourbon Street and what did I see?
Boobs and leather and what on earth could THAT be?
They’ve got legs swinging out windows and folks singing the blues
And this guy says he knows where I got my shoes!
- Marching Unit – Rolling Elvi
Float 19 - Mayor Shiny McSheen and his Resilience Machine
Hide the crime, move the homeless and all the things that we dread
The whole city should shine like the top of his head
The mayor says New Orleans is no longer hurtin'
Just don't sneak a peek at what's behind the curtain
- Marching Unit – NOLA Cherry Bombs
Float 20 - If I Ran the Circus
The new Gov didn’t know that he’d be ringmaster
To the Legislature's three ring circus disaster
There's a clown on the dais and a guy tight-rope prancing
and a representative over 160 pounds who’s pole dancing
- Marching Unit – Bearded Oysters
Float 21 - Green Eggs and HAMilton
You know theater can never go wrong
When you take a play and drench it in song
We've got hit musicals inspired by history, or Disney
Tickets cost only an arm, leg or kidney
- Marching Unit - Kolossos Art Bikes
Float 22 - What Do I Do Now?
My time is up, I’m done and how
I just want to know…WHAT DO I DO NOW?
Do I lounge ‘round a beach, make a lucrative speech?
The options are many, I might even teach
Do I take up a new hobby, make BIG bucks and lobby?
Which reminds me, anyone out there seen Bobby?
- Marching Unit – Organ Grinders
Float 23 - The Yennax
I am the Yennax and I live in denial
I won’t leave my job, just take me to trial!
I can't go to schools, but I show up at work
It's not like working is some sort of perk
I have my job, folks, and I’m telling you,
I intend to go on doing just what I do.
- Band – Noisician Coalition
Float 24 - You’re Only Old Once, If That
When you’re starting to sag and feel out of luck,
It can all be resolved with a nip and a tuck
Why advertise all the years of your life
when they can each be erased with one slice of a knife?
- Riding Unit – Laissez Boys
Float 25 - Wife 1 and Wife 2 and Wife 3
I think your White House is overrated
I prefer my home gold-plated.
Donald moved to DC to flex his new powers
But we know he prefers golden towers
- Riding Unit – Pink Slip Float
Float 26 - The Uber Battle Blog
It seems to us in these modern times
It sure does pay to be online.
We're banishing taxis with our handy app
That's what happens when you build a better mousetrap.
- Band – BateBunda and the Dance Group
Float 27 - Is That a Wocket in Your Pocket? (or are You Just Happy To See Me?)
Is that a wocket in your pocket or are you playing that game?
If you’re walking into traffic we know who’s to blame.
They’re popping up all over from dusk ‘til dawn.
Find them now before it’s Pokemon GONE!
- Band – Bloco Sereia
Float 28 - Sirens
And now you are about to see the last one
Our Sirens float means the parade's almost done
While the Sirens lure sailors down the rest of the route
We'll just say Happy Mardi Gras and Muses – OUT!